More on the Tophetites and the Holdemites


Saturday, October 13 – 1917
Today is the twenty-third anniversary of the first meeting of Everton and Liverpool – the memorable fight taking great place on October 13th 1894, at Goodison Park.

Older readers well remember – the writer doesn’t being at the time a Lilliputian ! – how Liverpool at the time of their formation were admitted to the Lancashire League which they topped straight-away.

Then to the Second Division and in “no-time” their third season – found themselves in the classic and exclusive circle as Division 1.

Hence from April 1894, the prospective initial “fusion” of the clubs was discussed, and as the time drew nigh, interest became so feverish that the Mayors of Liverpool and Bootle, and the elite of both parishes caught the contagion and signified their particular intention of being present.

Everton were fairly able to push their digite “deeply into the Clough” as George Graves would say, for the “gate” that day (over 40,000) realised £1,025 12s 10d.

The following were the participant players; Everton; Cain; Adams, and Parry; Boyle, Holt, Stewart; Latta, McInnes, Southworth, Hartley, (vice Chadwick), and Jack Bell;

Liverpool; McCann; Hannah, and McLean; McCartney, McQue, and McBride; Kerr, J. Ross, McVean, McQueen, and Bradshaw.

Mr. John Lewis – the greatest referee of his day and generation – who could tame lions if need be, was the presiding official.

The goals were credited to McInnes ten minutes from the start from a free kick, Latta and Jack Bell.

How many Merseysiders knew Bell’s early position and of the absence of Chadwick and Milward in the great “Derby”?

In Liverpool’s team I am told that Jimmy Ross was the first magnitude star of the forwards, his “foot technique” being simply wonderful. And now picking up the thread from yester week, the scribe Aba will describe the Greeks’ tug-of-war.

Chapter III.
Now the names of the foremost warriors of the tribes were these. Of the Tophetites Alec of the latter days (sounds Mormonism), Ruddy Mac idle son of Inez, Wad chick the twister, Trubell the might, Safe heart the swift, Dickbybo the supple, John of the cunning feet, whose name is Olt Bilsten the solid-pusher, Jim the son of Alam, Chollipart of the great Cymrt tribe, Gec-rec of olden fame, Bohkel the screne, Ablecain and Dickyoybil of the Styr and the captain whose name is Worthysouth. From these the eleven were chosen.

Of the Holdemites – the two Royal Macs, Mac of the Cart and Mac of the Wedding, Big Mac the eager surnamed Rufus, Mac of the Vine, the Ku-Mac Kik-ker, Cum-run, Shewbread, War-a-gain Mac of the Canskin, Jimiros Jim of the Drum and the captain, whose name is Ha-na. From these the eleven were chosen.

Now, the one having authority, who was clad in plain vestments, saw that all was ready, and he blew his pipe once more, and one kicked the ball a little space. And those who were in the front ranks rushed at it, and some kicked lightly and others kicked with all their might. And all beheld that the Tophetites kicked straight way, each into his fellows, until they had the ball near to whom the posts stood. And one kicked with a mighty kick, and behold, the ball shot right into the hands of the guardian of the net, and the force thereof was so great that he could hardly hold it.

Howbeit by a mighty effort, he threw it out again, and one of the Holdemites fastened on it with his feet and ran swiftly for a little space with it. But one rushed with a swift foot, shot behold the other player rolled over on the ground. But he who had got the ball looked not behind him, but gave a mighty kick so that the ball flew far up the field, like unto the flight of an eagle.

But one lifted up his head and caught it thereon and lo, it rebounded back again. And the Holdemites waxed fierce and fought strongly like unto caged lions. But the Tophetites were cool, and they ran round their opponents and took the ball from their toes in a cunning manner.

But after many efforts the ball was worked up near to the mouth of the net, and one of the Tophetites shot even like unto the lightning’s flash, so that the guardian of the sticks could not see it, and, behold, when he looked round it was in the net behind him. And immediately there rose a great sound from the multitude which no man could describe.

They roared like unto lions and screamed like unto birds of the air, and they took the coverings from their heads and three them up. And they thundered on the floors with sticks of thorns and the oak of divers, other woods, shed with brass and iron. And the clapping of hands sounded even like unto the waves of the sea. And even the women waved pieces of white lincs to and fro.

Likewise there was heard the sound of the corncrake and of the trumpet. And the air was confused with noise so that no one in the country round about paused from their labour, wondering what manner of thing this might be.

But the ball was brought forth and place again in the midst, and in a twinkling of an eye it was all over the field, ever the length and breadth thereof. And the Holdemites toiled and fought valiantly and made great rushes and overturned many of their adversaries. And great about across from the multitude, foras much as sections called fiercely to the favourites warriors to do great things.

And behold when one did some cunning work, with his toe and head, the multitude shouted for joy. Albeit many others also shouted in concern. And great excitement spread over all. Any many times the one in authority stop the fight and many specialties were given.

After these the fight waxed fiercy and fiercer and the faces of the tribes were is on unto the rising moon when it is full and great drops of sweat stood upon their brows. And many times the guardians of the posts were in danger. But many perceived that they kept cool and their hearts comforted.

Then certain of the front ranks of the Tophetites who had been lying in wait got on the ball, and with swift and tortuous movement worked up the field, and one of them screwed the ball so that it spun round the corner of the posts and he against the centre of the hot work. And again that great and confused sound came across from the multitude.

Chapter IV.
Now there came a time when it was decreed that the combatance should rest awhile and refresh themselves. So the one in authority blew and the fighting ceased and all took their several ways into their tents. And the people shouted as they went in.

And the great multitude shook themselves together and brought forth pipes of clay and of wood, and of a substance made from the foam of the sea. And they filled them with pungent leaves and others brought forth the leaves wrapped in the paper, having a strange symbol stamped thereon being like unto two horses hoots, the smell through being like unto asset and all applied into the leaves.

And many brought forth cunningly brought bottles filled with the juices of the grape and of barley and their shouted and drank to their champions. And the smoke hung all over the field.

But after a certain time the warriors again drew up in order of battle. And many behold that their garments were called because of the fierceness of the fight and some limped. But all guarded up their loins.

Now the struggle was renewed and behold is waxed fiercer than before, and many great deeds were done. And the cries became more urgent, calling on their champions to gather in the spoils, even the goals.

And the fighting was forced. But after a space come began to breathe, heartily. Yet the pace slackened not, and betimes the battle went sore against the Holdemites. But they would not give in. nevertheless it became apparent to all that the Tophetities were making great headway, and their efforts did not go unrewarded, so their countenances became padiant and the multitude applauded with all their might.

And as the battle raged many spoke in a strange tongue and said; “Its shl ovare bar t shouten. Nevertheless the people waited for the end. Any many doves were scone in the air carrying pieces of paper on which were written words of the great fight. And the doves flew to all ends of the land.

Chapter V.
And, behold, the pipe blew with a shrill sound, and the fighting came to an end. And they counted up the spoil and to the Tophetites produced a basket full. But the Holdemites were almost empty handed and victory nested with the Tophetites.

And might shouts rent the air again and again. And the people who were outside the gates heard the glad tidings and immediately became drunk as with new wine. And the multitudes poured out of the gates and filled the carnvalneries round about.

And they shouted for wine and strong drink. And behold the drawers of drink who stout behind the barriers tolled like giants and stood upon their brows , yes the thirst of the people was not quenched.

And the chariots of those departing to their places of abode filled all the streets and highways so that there was no room. And confusion prevailed in the city. Likewise sounds of rivalry and mirth were heard far on into the night.

But silence reigned in the field called, An. There many sat apart and drank in silence; you drank copiously. Yet the liquor did not seen to gladden their hearts. Now there were the followers of the Holdemites.

And, behold are not all these things written by the scribes; and are they not also written in the Chronicle of the tribes?

So much for the “epic.” The return game was played five weeks later November 17) at Anfield, the result being a draw 2-2. But we can animadvert on that game some other time.
(Liverpool Football Echo, 13-10-1917)

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